Monday, March 28, 2011

Made of spectral white - a Rondel

when rainbow hazes wrap us in
soft tissues, made of spectral white,
my sense turns liquid, drinkin' night’s
moist breath, i feel exposed and thin,

take cautious steps towards the rim
and balance on diffusing light
when rainbow hazes wrap us in
soft tissues, made of spectral white

so soar upon cleft edges, spin
and glide, do love me mad and fight
this slipping groove, we reach the height
just as our shapes fade pale and slim
when rainbow hazes wrap us in.

today we're having part II of our Rondel teaching over at One Stop Poetry. have a look, write a Rondel and join us!
Rondel structure:
ABba
abAB
abbaA

22 Comments:

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi Claudia,
as usual you are brillaint with your magical. words which creates the image live.
Glad yo have you.

take care.

stillfugue.com said...

This is really masterful use of the form. You have tremendous talent.

okoatokewa - the poet said...

Another masterpiece from the great poet, I love your rondel, mastery uses of words, thanks for sharing this with us.

Jinksy said...

when rainbow hazes wrap us in.

Who wouldn't want a cloak like that? LOL

Brian Miller said...

you paint a beautiful picture my friend...so if we return next year, you are going to be here right? met dustus last night...so cool...finding the moon today...smiles. nice job on the form....

Eva Gallant said...

Beautiful imagery! gives me goosebumps.

Sally J said...

Love this, especially
...spin
and glide, do love me mad and fight
this slipping groove,...
Great rondel.

ChrisAu said...

Sounds romantic to me! :)

Mama Zen said...

You made this feel effortless. Just beautiful.

Beachanny said...

Masterful, effortless, your creative use of punctuation make it feel free form rather than set and the form is like a jazz riff taking us through a spectrum of love. I so love your poetry Claudia. Thank you! Gay

hedgewitch said...

Excellent--you have the perfect cadence, making the words tumble out in a relationship that feeds both form and the pleasure of the mind in words, sense and rhythm. One of your best, in every way, Claudia.

liv2write2day said...

I so enjoy the repetitive nature of this form and the way you weave your poetry with unforgettable images.

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi ,

Thanks for letting me know , I have enabled the comment section now , yesterday I was tweaking over my blog and comment section got disabled ;).

Thanks
Take care.

Leslie said...

so very lovely...

Umamaheswari.A said...

Wonderful!You write rondels really well.Thanks for correcting me!I have done the corrections ...

Margaret said...

Very much a romantic dance...

Reflections said...

Beautiful romantic piece... thanks for setting the mark so well.

eugene said...

I enjoy what i read here, i am sure i wanna come back for more,, take care now and god bless ya

libraryscene said...

so light, yet steeped in a set rhythm ..as a reader, I was amazed by its visual beauty, as a student of the form, I was amazed at what can be done ~thank you

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Beautiful - - and I discovered why my Rondel poem is marred. I was following an incorrect model. LOL.

LOVE that and am so appreciative of your edits to help me make it "right"...

Semaphore said...

Can't expect anything less than perfect structure here - and you pull it off well. What is intriguing is imagining what your words describe - the swirl of wine in a glass that refracts the light, the edge of a skater whirling on ice - and maybe all of these things, well-poised and colourfully rich.

The Fool said...

Lovely poem. I was initially wondering what it was all about. But then I read it again keeping in mind a glass of white wine and everything fell in place and the beauty of your work was unravelled.
Also thanks for the feedback on my work.